Thursday, February 14, 2013

Destroying the Moda Sandals

After an unusually stressful morning at work, I retreated to an empty house where I knew I had to unleash some fury upon something.  I put on my Ellie slingbacks to figure things out andthen it hit me.

A little back story... before I got the idea to purchase shoes that actually feet my gigantic feet, I tried to make do with the largest worn shoes I could find on eBay.  Every once in a while I'd come across some kind of sandal in a size 12 or 13 and if it had a bare minimum of straps or some straps that could be cut without ruining their ability to remain in place on my feet, I'd buy them and use them every so often for as long as I could withstand the circulation in my feet being compromised.  I found this pair of size 13M lime green strappy sandals by Moda and, despite them not being large enough for my feet, had high hopes that I could make them work.

You'll have to forgive me for not having photographed them as soon as they arrived, but when I found that the thin straps really hurt me feet, I figured I would end up getting rid of them.  They were very lightly used, with only the top pieces of the low, blocky heels showing the slightest bit of wear.  There was definitely no trashing and abuse to be enjoyed, so as I contemplated how to get rid of some of my aggression, I came to the conclusion that I'd give my Ellies a workout and see what they could do to the Moda sandals, since they had no future with me.

I stepped on them a few times but that didn't do much.  I figured I would only be satisfied if I was able to do something to ruin the integrity of the sandals so I centered the heel of my Ellie above the shank of the right shoe, stabilized myself by holding onto the wall and let all 300 pounds of my weight bear down on it.  The feeling of the shank slowly giving out was so amazing, I couldn't wait to do it to the other one, and now I'm seriously considering an eBay search for some more low-heeled sandals and heels so I can enjoy that sensation again.  It was an unexpected feeling of power.  At this point I got the idea to photograph the results of the trashing and abuse, so the first two photos are of the first round.

I needed a location better than my dining room floor to continue things so I took the sandals to the garage and went crazy, stomping the living hell out of the left sandal.  The adorable jewelry-like metal heart that connected the three spaghetti straps ended up shattering, rendering the poor thing useless.  The top pieces of my Ellies left their mark all over the shoes as I paid special attention to the area where I collapsed the shank.

The bending of the shank was so severe that the top piece went flying across the garage, sending me on a search to find it so my wife wouldn't come across it at some point.  I almost regretted the metal heart breaking because I would have loved to have slipped this on my foot one last time to see what it would be like to walk in the shoes with them in this condition.

The right sandal also took some harsh blows including a nasty one that speared through the metallic material of the insole, but at this point my feet were getting tired and as much as want to abuse my Ellie slingbacks over time, don't want to completely destroy them.  It was a good thing that a close inspection of them showed nothing more than top pieces looking a little worn from having murdered the Modas.  Something tells me my Ellies can take on anything, and perhaps they will in the future.

No comments:

Post a Comment