Lou's Girlfriend's Shoes: Part One (Hello, Red Flats)

Since coming over from Europe, Lou's girlfriend's shoes have been a bit neglected.  As soon as the weather improves, they'll be taking a difficult hike in the woods courtesy of a friend of mine with a voracious desire to be very abusive to the shoes on her feet.  In the meantime, I thought I'd send the red flats a greeting with my Pleaser T-strap pumps.

As promised, the information found here will give you a little insight as to what's going on.  I didn't measure the heels of my Pleasers but the top pieces are very small, somewhere between 3/16" and 1/4" of an inch.  There are times in the video when I am putting nearly all of my 300 pounds onto the heels of my shoes, meaning the pressure being generated is somewhere in the 10,000 PSI range without any motion whatsoever.  That means the number is going to swell as I lift my foot off the floor and stomp back down on it.  What abuse Lou's girlfriend's shoes are being forced to endure!  Good thing they held up with only a few scratches, although the road only gets more difficult from now on... figuratively and literally.

My Collection: Ballet Flats of an Unknown Brand

Despite my silent grumbling about there being way too many pairs of ballet flats for sale on eBay, I've purchased quite a few.  The majority aren't very worn at all but every once in a while I come across a pair that's trashed and abused enough for my liking.  This pair walks the fine line between the two and something compelled me to bid.  Maybe it was the leopard print?

As far as ballet flats go, these are holding their shape quite well.  Most have quarters that are collapsing but these are completely intact, at least from a distance.  One major sign of wear is the fact that the insoles are missing, with the layer of cushioning that once resided below them pulling double duty.  Since the white foam is fairly dirty, it's obvious these shoes were worn without the insoles for a while, instead of having had them removed for the sake of making them look more worn.

 

 

There's nothing much to see on the outsoles.  They're fairly worn but nothing that renders the shoes unwearable.  Considering how the wear on the outsoles is in line with the wear exhibited elsewhere on the flats, it's likely these spent some time outdoors.

With the help of my camera's flash, it's easy to see toe prints inside the shoes.  I'm going to assume these were worn barefoot and in hot weather, which makes sense because I'm pretty sure I bought these from a seller in Florida.

The lining in the quarter of the right show is separating at the topline.  I'm not sure of why this isn't also happening on the left shoe, although it ties in nicely with my theory that right shoes generally take more abuse than their left counterparts.  Even if the wearer is left handed and that somehow indicates what foot takes on more of the body's weight, the right foot is the one that has to operate the accelerator and brake pedals, meaning the right shoe gets forced to do a lot more bending and flexing and moving around.

 



The most significant trashing and abuse on these flats can be seen on the backs of the uppers.  The material appears to be joined by another wide strip of the same stuff, and for some reason everything is coming apart.  I can't think of a reason why this is happening.  Even if the wearer crushed down the quarters to use the shoes as mules (which I'm almost sure she didn't, judging by the wear that's visible), it wouldn't cause this to happen.  Ideas?

Lou's Girlfriend's Shoes: An Introduction

When I started this blog, I had no idea what kind of interactions I would have with you, the valued readers.  As it turns out, the majority of you are very, very quiet.  No comments?  At all?  Come on, some of you must have something to say, right?  Right?  Oh well, maybe at some point down the road.

One of the earliest emails I remember having received was from a gentleman named Lou, residing on the other side of the pond in Europe.  He expressed a desire to send me two old pairs of his girlfriend's shoes to trash and abuse by way of "natural" methods, as opposed to taking the easy way out and simply throwing them in a mud puddle or setting fire to them.  I'd get to document the destruction and post it to the blog for all you lucky readers to enjoy under the stipulation that I finish taking the shoes to within inches of their lives by June so they can be sent back to him.  At first, I didn't know what to make of the request.  Seeing as how his girlfriend's size 39 shoes (that's a size 8.5 here in the States) would be a really tough squeeze onto my big feet, wasn't sure what I could do to them aside from using them as way-too-small slippers.  After I reminded myself that a challenge is just an opportunity in disguise, I imagined many ways by which I could meet Lou's request.  Over the next three months, I'll provide regular updates and while I'm not about to share all of my ideas right now, I do have a friend who I know will be more than happy to slip onto her size 8 feet and take them hiking over some precarious terrain when the weather here gets a little more tolerable.  I'm already looking forward to sharing those photos with you.

As for the shoes, let's take a look.

I'm not sure of the brand of these ballet flats- there's nothing listed anywhere, nor does it look like there was anything affixed to the shoes that ever indicated the brand.  Lou says they're about four years old, and that seems to be right judging by their appearance and the way they're adding a nice aroma to my office as I type this.  The uppers are either a cheap-feeling real leather or a somewhat-convincing faux leather, and straps across the toe boxes provide a mounting point for two cute off-center bows.

As is typical of ballet flats, there are no counters to stiffen the quarters so they're a bit misshapen, especially on the right shoe.  There are times this is caused by the wearer deciding to push the quarters down with her heels instead of allowing them to do their jobs and wrap around them (that's what I'm going to have to do when I start wearing these flats).  Since doing that usually results in some scuffing and staining of the uppers and there are no visible signs of that on these, I'm guessing the quarters are misshapen because of the way they were tightly packed into a box for shipping across two continents.

The insoles and lining are of a cloth-like material with flower pattern that my grandmother probably would have liked as wallpaper.  Here you can see the cloth starting to separate from the insoles, likely from moisture generated by sweaty feet.  Seeing as how the cloth has a way of bunching up, I can imagine these flats were quite uncomfortable to wear without socks.  Maybe that's why Lou's girlfriend might not be missing them all that much?

The situation is a little better near the seats where some staining of the flowery cloth can best be appreciated.  Note the lack of stiffening counters in the quarters- I'm assuming this is what separates ballet flats from regular flats that are a lot more rigid?  Are ballet flats more comfortable than regular flats?  They certainly seem more popular these days.

It appears that Lou's girlfriend probably spent a lot of time wearing these flats indoors as the outsoles are worn smooth in some spots but are generally without any extreme signs of trashing and abuse.  The rubber isn't worn very thin, so it's possible these shoes could have been worn for another few years.  I'm looking forward to making it so they can never be worn again, at least in public by any woman that's at all conscious of her appearance!

This is something I've seen on countless pairs of ballet flats- the quarter seems to sag over time, with the bottom eventually ending up drooping down over the rubber of the heel section of the outsole.  While the wear is very light on this particular pair of shoes, I've seen other pairs where the wear is so severe, the material that comprises the upper gets worn through to the lining because of the way it scrapes along the ground.  You'll be seeing this in some ballet flats I'll be sharing with you in the not-too-distant future.

The second pair of shoes from Lou and his girlfriend's closet is a pair of Superga sneakers.  I've never heard of the brand so I'm guessing they're specific to Europe.  They look to be a cross between a pair of old canvas Keds and a more modern pair of Converse All-Stars.  Lou says this pair is about two years old.

The pink canvas uppers display significant signs of wear without having been compromised in a way that prevents them from being usable.  The canvas is starting to fray along the topline of both shoes, although much more obviously on the right one.  As with the ballet flats, I look forward to making sure these sneakers reach the end of their life within three months.

Initially I thought the uppers were starting to separate from the rubber material that joins them to the outsoles, but a closer examination revealed that's not the case.  Too bad.

What's too bad- for the sneakers, of course- is the extreme trashing and abuse seen in the quarters.  The lining is completely ripped and worn away, exposing the shape-forming counters that ensure the shoes remain rigid enough to stay on the wearer's feet.

Things are so bad on the right sneaker that the counter is literally cracking apart.  Usually this is a result of what I described earlier where the wearer smashes down the quarters with her heels so that the shoes becomes makeshift mules.  However, there is no staining of the canvas of the upper that would indicate it spent any amount of time under the heel of the foot, so it's possible the cracking is the result of Lou's girlfriend's feet being slid in and out of the sneakers hundreds of times.

Superga appears to have been inspired by Keds as the outsoles have a similar look and feel, although the textured pattern is slightly different.  Wear is visible in the expected areas under the balls of the feet and the heels.

Many thanks to Lou for being a loyal reader of the blog and for being the first to step up and contribute.  I'm looking forward to the chance to honor his request and share the results with you, and perhaps another reader or two will enjoy this so much that they'll want to contribute as well?  No reasonable requests will be denied!

These shoes will be sorry they made the trip to the U.S. of A.  Stay tuned...

Destroying the Gold Ballet Flats: Part One

I try to make educated eBay purchases but every once in a while emotion (or something else that I can't explain) grabs hold of me.  In this case, it was these ballet flats reminding me of the ones pretty much all women (and girls) seemed to wear in the early 90's.  My mother had a pair, as did her friend... and my best friend at the time... and her sister... usually white, all with a cute little bow above the toe box.  I saw these and was immediately captivated.

As you can see, there's not much about them that's trashed or abused.  In fact, the outsoles of the shoes look practically new.  Something tells me these shoes spent the majority of their life indoors, confined to carpeted areas and other surfaces that didn't inflict much damage at all.

The most significant sign of use is inside the shoes where sole is completely gone.  Maybe the woman that wore these shoes had sweaty feet and the moisture worked them loose.  Maybe she got rid of them, just because...?  Either way, the thin layer of foam meant to provide some cushioning is a little dark and dirty in some areas, so whatever the case, the shoes spent some time being worn with the soles MIA.

With a house to myself and wanting an opportunity to do something with my new Pleaser Mary Jane pumps, I figured that I would make up for the fact that I allowed myself to buy a pair of shoes that really wasn't anything special aside from the fact that it took me back about two decades for a brief moment.  Yes, that's my lovely feet inside my red patent leather beauties.  I love how my gigantic Pleasers look eager for their chance to rip the flats apart.

I started slowly by stepping on the sweet-looking bows with the heels of my shoes.  Since there's not usually much in the way of structure in ballet flats, I could barely feel anything as I put my weight on them.  They seemed to compress into something no thicker than a piece of paper.  Not at all satisfying.

Next, I stepped on the backs of the shoes.  Again, the sensation was mediocre at best because of the lack of a stiff counter in the quarter.  When I destroyed the Moda sandals, they put up a bit of a fight.  Ballet flats don't resist much of anything, they just sort of go with the flow.  I suppose that could be why they're so popular, and women tend to keep them until they fall apart.  I have a few good examples I'll be showing you over the next week or two.

Somewhat disappointed, I took the flats to the garage where I figured I could do some serious damage.  And damage the shoes, I did.  This is what they looked like after the Pleasers were unleashed on them.

Remember the scene from the end of Jurassic Park where the pair of velociraptors team up to frighten the hell out of Hammond's niece and nephew?  I've learned that a pair of heels can create an equally effective team.  By using the heel of one shoe to hold the victim in place, the other can kick the life out of it without it moving all that much.  It's all about finding a way to maintain a good amount of weight on the heel of the shoe that's holding the victim in place while being nimble enough to inflict damage with the other.

The heel marks on the foam padding were nice to see but what I loved more was how they hooked themselves onto the bow as I kicked away, eventually ripping the fake leather material enough to leave them looking injured but not anywhere close to death.

The absolute best result of the fury was the hole I made in the back of one of the shoes as I held it down with the heel of one of my Mary Janes.  The top piece of the heel eventually cut through the thin layer of material, further trapping the poor ballet flat underneath it and preventing it from being able to escape.  Talk about a torture device!

I found that kicking ballet flats positioned on a concrete garage floor means you'll miss about twice as much as you hit the target, or at least until you get a feel for what you're doing.  The top pieces on both heels took some abuse, but the heels themselves seem as sturdy as ever.

Still, the moment left both of my Pleasers with some unintended damage, like this black mark that doesn't seem ready to go away anytime soon.  Part of me feels bad, and now I can reason with women that get distressed when they do something to hurt their brand new pair of shoes.  Yet another part of me knows this is the life I intended for these shoes, and the damage that accumulates over time will be worth the results.  Speaking of results, the gold ballet flats are getting put away, but their trashing and abuse is far from over.  Stay tuned.

Unbelievably Worn Flats

I know I've been quiet the last few days but I assure you more posts are coming, including a good look at more shoes in my rapidly-growing collection.  In the meantime I thought I'd share another gem found on the internet, this one about a pair of horrendously worn flats, apparently by a woman named Regina.

Granted, there isn't much to see aside from the soles, although if the uppers are anything close to being this bad, these flats must have been damn near embarrassing to wear.  Regina seems almost surprised by the fact that her shoes are so worn, as if she didn't see or feel the gigantic holes appearing under the balls of her feet?  The right shoe appears just about ready to break into two!

Too bad the post is from 2009, because if it were more recent I would attempt to get in touch with her and make her an offer for those flats.  She'd probably think me insane, but that kind of shoe trashing and abuse is the kind that makes me stupid with money and willing to spend whatever it takes to get my hands on what I want.