The Beauty of eBay

Before I start adding detailed posts covering some of the shoes in my current collection, I figured it would be a good time to talk about how eBay is helping me build that collection, and how someone looking to do the same can use the popular auction site to do the same.  At first, an eBay search for "well worn shoes" (I've found that covers most of what I'm looking for) can be both exhilarating and intimidating- after all, you'll end up with upwards of 600 pairs to sort through!  However, it won't take long to discover that your idea of well worn is vastly different from some others' idea of well worn.  Sellers have obviously caught on to the interest in well worn shoes and will often try to pass off a pair of lightly worn shoes as one that has suffered greatly on the feet of its owner.  Don't be fooled.  A quick look at the photos will reveal what's worth your time and if you're not happy with the number of photos available, don't hesitate to contact the seller and request more.  If they have a pair of shoes worth selling and they're motivated enough to do so, they'll oblige.  Contacting the seller is also a fantastic way to start a conversation about the shoes, but more on that in a minute.

What you'll want to keep an eye out for is someone selling shoes that have been purposely abused (unless that's your thing, in which case, knock yourself out.)  A while back there were a few sellers on eBay that sold shoes in many different sizes and they all had the same kind of extreme wear on the tips of the toe area and the bottoms of the heels, as if they encountered a belt sander.  Perhaps they did.  The wear was not in line with the wear on the rest of the shoes, and it was suspect that a bunch of women (and it had to be a bunch of women because the shoes were all different sizes, right?) all wore down their shoes in the exact same way.  In fact, following what a seller lists is often a good way to determine if someone is selling their own shoes, or is simply selling shoes they come across in other ways.  If someone always sells, say, size 9 shoes, they're probably selling their own as the wear out and get replaced.  Maybe that matters, and maybe it doesn't.

Again, contacting the seller is a good way to try to ascertain what's going on behind the scenes.  Of course, it's the internet and anyone can lie (is it really a woman and her sister and her friends using the same account, or is it a guy frequenting thrift stores and reselling what he buys?) but there are times when you'll come across someone who accepts your attempt to engage them in a conversation on the subject.  Sometimes you might learn something about the shoes for sale.  Sometimes you might find the seller has other stuff that hasn't been listed on eBay, and perhaps you'll exchange emails and come to an agreement to buy something else before it goes public.  Sometimes you'll get comfortable enough to ask the seller about what they perceive as the appeal of trashed and abused shoes, and things explode from there.  You never know.  Just don't push too hard.  There will be times when the seller doesn't have much to say, so use that as your cue to drop the attempt at a conversation.  You don't want to come across as a creep.

Some tips to help you sort through everything?  Make things easy on yourself and, when you perform repeated eBay searches (I usually search on a daily basis), make sure to search by listing newly posted items first.  This way, you're not sorting through shoes you already viewed as you attempt to figure out what's new.  Take advantage of the ability to watch items, and allow email notifications to alert you when an auction is about to end so you can swoop in and land the highest bid at the end.  If you spot an item that you might want, consider putting a minimum bid on the item, as that makes it harder for the seller to cancel the auction because someone makes them an offer outside of eBay (I've done that before- made an offer to make sure I got the item without the price getting out of control and convinced the seller to delist the item.)  And finally, be prepared to walk away if the price gets too high.  It helps to approach bidding on auction items the same way you approach walking into a casino to gamble- know your limits ahead of time and stick to them no matter what happens.  Some eBay sellers have high opinions of what they're selling and price them accordingly.  Others will lure you in with a low starting price, but then list a $20 shipping charge.  That's unreasonable.  Unless you're shipping from China, it doesn't cost $20 to package and ship something as small as a pair of shoes.  As with a contract, pay attention to the so-called fine print.

And finally, good luck bidding against me!  You never know if you are...

Compelling Insight...

Not being sure how long it takes for a blog to become searchable, I figured I would type "trashed abused shoes" into Google to see if this got listed.  No such luck, or at least not yet, but something else was brought to my attention that I found interesting, and perhaps you'll find interesting as well.  This discussion on purseforum won't take you too long to read and if you're anything like me, you'll be left wishing it was longer because it offers some valuable insight into the subject of trashed and abused shoes.

Every once in a while, I'll buy something from someone on eBay that's willing to engage in a conversation about the trashing and abuse of shoes.  Not only do I love old shoes, but I love discussing why shoes are allowed to get ruined to the point where they're basically useless as shoes.  I mean, I wear my sneakers and shoes until they're in pretty sad shape, but I'm a guy... I'm not supposed to like shopping for shoes... and finding shoes in a size that fits my big feet is often a challenge I don't feel like tackling too often.  Women, on the other hand, seem to love shopping for shoes... the more, the better... and with so many often at their disposal, why not spread the use instead of going back to one pair over and over until it's seen way better days?

According to this discussion, women are split on the role of their shoes.  It starts off with the original poster feeling bad for the pair of ruined Pradas that inspired her to write, stating, "I dunno, maybe she was really rich and could afford these as her 'comfy old go-to pair' or maybe she really really loves them and can't bear to be without them for even a day... but I thought it was an awful shame to have shoes that beautiful get into such a bad state... I already feel bad that there is a scrape on a pair of patent $75 shoes..."  She's supported by another who says, "i firmly believe in taking good care of all my possessions - it makes me so sad to see *any* pair of shoes being abused, regardless of the price. If it's something cute that you like, why wouldn't you take care of it? That's how I feel when I see shoes that are just completely trashed" and another taking a much more extreme point of view by pointing out, "The condition of your shoes is a reflection of you. Shoes in poor repair show that you don't care about your appearance."  There are obviously women who are very, very serious about the idea of taking care of their shoes.

Thankfully (especially for people like us), there are women who treat their shoes as the utilitarian objects they are, nicely confirming, "I can't say I abuse my shoes... but I certainly don't baby them. As the other girls have pointed out, they are meant to be worn!", and backed up by another that, "as much as I love shoes and as much money as I spend on shoes, they ultimately serve a purpose...or two, rather. To walk in and to make me feel good!"  We can all feel good some women take things even further than that, like one that boldly proclaims, "I am a shoe abuser. You should see my CLs. I wear them to clubs in Vegas and local bars--not very shoe friendly. I also like my boots worn and abused looking. So I will "break in" Gucci boots by sliding and dragging my feet through pebbles, dirt, and sand."  Wow.  She drags her boots through pebbles, dirt, and sand?  I need to meet this one.  She can horrify the friend of the woman who shudders as she tells the story of her friend:

"My best friend is the complete opposite of me and sometimes I am horrified at the acts of shoe abuse she executes in front of me. Example: She wore her brand new pair of Christian Louboutin Madame Butterfly Booties (IN FUCHSIA!...SUEDE!) to a wedding pre-party and after spending hours getting them knicked and scratched on the dance floor she proceeded to spill a cocktail on them and then try to "clean" the cocktail off the shoes by dabbing the suede with wet toilette paper. I wanted to cry. At the end of the night when it was all over I said, "Your beautiful shoes are trashed", to which she responded, "They got WORN and they are just shoes!" Aghhhhhhh. To each their own but I still cringe when I think of that night and those gorgeous booties getting all trashed."

Of course, that doesn't answer many questions.  Why does the one woman like her Gucci boots looking worn and abused?  Is it an image thing?  Is there something to the idea of dominating an inanimate object?  And how about the woman that voiced indifference to her shoes getting ruined at a wedding?  Is it a lack of care, as suggested by the poster that thinks someone who wears shoes in bad condition is somehow a lesser person, or some kind of belief that shoes are something that are designed and manufactured to take abuse until they can't possibly take any more?  Is this reading more into the subject?  Or is this all-too-brief exchange of opinions an indication there is more than meets they eye?

Welcome To the Blog!

As the sidebar explains in very vague terms, this is a blog for those out there that have an interest in trashed and abused women's shoes... an interest similar to mine, which happens to be one that I can't explain after all these years.  The appeal of a woman in high heels isn't all that perplexing.  After all, what guy doesn't appreciate the way a pair of heels changes the way a woman moves across a room?  However, the appeal of worn out shoes doesn't seem to make any sense, at least on the surface.  Smelly and stretched out and ripped and torn and sometimes broken, they compare to a pair of new shoes the same way an old beater compares to a car fresh off the showroom floor... and most guys wouldn't hesitate in taking the one with the new car smell.  Yet here I am and here you are, confused why you're drawn to the woman with the tattered sneakers, sandals with broken straps and pumps with a loose heel.

Over the years, I've struggled to find many ways in which to entertain this strange interest.  Before the days of being able to purchase items through the internet, I frequented local thrift shops, where were often a haven for used women's shoes.  However, I was always worried what the person behind the counter was thinking when a guy reached into his wallet to purchase a few pairs of women's shoes, and the shoes available weren't terribly worn since no thrift store was going to put the "best" stuff on the racks for sale.  Awful as it may sound in retrospect, frequenting donation bins in parking lots made more sense.  On the off chance the bin was full and bags of clothing were left on the ground in front of them, I'd wait until no cars were coming and quickly look through everything, hoping to score a pair of shoes that no thrift store employee in his or her right mind would consider allowing to be sold to someone.  Sometimes it worked, and I'd drive home with a gem or two.  More often, I'd go home empty-handed.

Thanks to eBay, things have changed for the better.  On any given day, you can go online and find upwards of 600 pairs of shoes being sold on the internet auction site under the description of "well worn shoes".  Not all are well worn, of course, as crafty salespeople will try to pass off lightly-used specimens to those desperate for a pair of shoes that have seen better days.  Yet if you do a little work, you'll be able to bid on dozens upon dozens of trashed and abused shoes in just a few minutes.  Just make sure you get the mail before your significant other, or make sure they're slipped in a plain brown box so there isn't a heel poking through a hole in the padded envelope, exposing to all what you purchased.  Trust me when I say that explaining your way out of that one isn't fun, or easy.

This leaves me with the predicament of what to do with my ever-growing collection of trashed and abused women's shoes.  Unlike others, I'm not one to get down with a pair and make a mess of them (although if that's your thing, more power to you).  I figure myself to be more a connoisseur, taking the shoes out of their box and admiring the way they've been worn down from beautiful, brand new shoes to ones that, if they could talk, would probably be begging for a retirement trip to the trash can.  I mean, have you seem what some women do to their shoes in the name of getting one more walk out of them?  I love to imagine what they've been through... how they earned their battle scars... how hard they would beg for mercy if given the chance.  After all, the duty of a shoe isn't a glamorous one... little things comprised of relatively weak materials tasked with supporting the tremendous weight of something much larger and made to walk through whatever you find while keeping it all together.  And now that I've discovered that I can buy women's shoes in sizes that fit my size 14 feet, I look forward to finally discovering what it's like to feel them on my feet and discover what it's like to walk in them.

This blog will be a window into the room containing my adventures with trashed and abused woman's shoes.  I'll share photos of shoes in my collection... tell you my thoughts, and hope you'll tell me yours by commenting.  I'm sure things will get quite interesting when the community grows large enough for some legitimate conversations.  I'll also fill you in on what I do when the larger pairs start showing up at my door.  I can't wait to feel what it's like to have a pair of slingbacks on my feet- correctly sized, so as not to make me force my feet into shoes that are way too small- and beat the crap out of them.  Should be fun... as will the adventure, so let's go!