High Heels & Mathematics

Mathematics can explain a lot of things, but did you ever think someone would apply such logic and reasoning to the wearing of high heels?  Well, someone did, and you can read about it here.

As I find myself using my Ellie and Pleaser shoes to inflict damage upon some of the helpless victims in my collection, understanding a bit about what's going on didn't seem like a bad idea.  You can anticipate me referencing this page a lot in the future!

My Collection: City Sneaks Canvas Sneakers

One of my ultimate quests is to find a terribly trashed and abused pair of Keds to add to my collection.  The thing is, pairs like that don't become available very often and when they do, the bidding spirals out of control faster than a drunk on an icy curve.  I had a few pairs in the past that I foolishly disposed of when I got rid of my previous collections, and I have a feeling I'll live to regret those decisions for a very long time.  However, this pair of black City Sneaks wasn't a bad find, and I certainly didn't pay for them as if they were actual Keds.

Keds were very popular in the late 80's and early 90's, although I'm sure they were popular way before I began paying attention when I was in junior high.  The fad seemed to lead to an endless number of companies selling Keds-style sneakers.  Some were obviously cheap knock-offs while others were very close to the real things.  An ex girlfriend of mine had a pair made by Hanes and asides from the iconic blue Keds rectangle having been replaced by a pink Hanes one, I'd have never known the difference.  These City Sneaks aren't Keds doppelgangers but they're close enough for me, especially in their condition.

Surprisingly, there isn't much to see inside, although the lack of visual candy is helped by an overabundance of canvas sneaker odor.  Some of you will surely know what I'm talking about, and those that don't will just have to find out for themselves because it can't be put into words.  The lining that covers the rigid plastic counters is usually ripped, torn and worn away on sneakers exhibiting this much trashing and abuse but is perfectly intact on both of these shoes.  At least the insole is faded and stained, almost to the point where it's difficult to read the City Sneaks name in small, lowercase font.

Fortunately, a little treasure-hunting reveals a hidden gem.  By lifting up the loose insole of the right sneaker, a hole on the outsole is revealed (yes, I could have shown you photographs of the bottoms of the City Sneaks instead, but how would that have been any fun?)  As is almost always the case, the right shoe is a lot more worn than the left, which has outsoles worn dangerously thin but without any holes.

The canvas uppers display every kind of wear you could ever hope to find.  The black material is faded and stained and, on the right sneaker, is ripped where the foot flexes.  Right now the lining is hanging on just enough to keep this from being a full-fledged hole, but I'm sure another few weeks of hard use would cause it to give way.

The eyelets for the laces on the left shoe are just beginning to separate from the canvas uppers...

...but they'll have to speed things up if they want to catch the ones on the right shoe because a few are completely gone.  In fact, they appear to have been gone a while since they're nowhere to be found.  The laces definitely aren't original so the loose eyelets likely got tossed along with the original laces, and new ones were put on using the now-naked holes.

The bottoms of the shoes show City Sneaks' most obvious departure from Keds convention.  Instead of a gum rubber outsole, these sneakers have ones with a few shallow grooves and appear to have been covered in a fuzzy material that's barely visible only near the centers where the least amount of the wearer's weight was pounding them into the ground.

The hole on the heel area of the right shoe is the result of them being worn so much that the once-robust outsoles were worn paper-thin.  These sneakers weren't far away from being worn to the point where they would have been completely useless.  In fact, I'm not sure how the wearer got by with using them in this condition.  A hole this large would surely make it impossible to wear these in any kind of wet weather so either they were planned to be used only on dry days or it didn't matter if the wearer's feet got an accidental bath.

Even the fronts of the outsoles are starting to grow small holes, as this area has been worn paper-thin as well.  Women seem to be reckless with these kinds of canvas shoes, which is a blessing and a curse.  Trashed and abused examples are wonderful to have, but women don't often give up sneakers like these and when they do, they're usually under the impression they're so far gone that the only place for them is the trash.  If they only knew what guys like me would pay to get them.  Ladies, are you listening?

My Collection: Classiques Pumps

I'll kick off the work week with a beautiful example of office pumps.  If you're like me and looking to add trashed and abused shoes to your collection, you often can't go wrong with office pumps.  You'll have to make some sacrifices- they're usually fairly plain and the heels aren't insanely high, but they're usually a hell of a lot more worn out than fancy pumps that were slipped on for the occasional date, fancy dinner or formal event.  That's because office pumps are sometimes worn on a daily basis over a period of years, racking up miles over the course of countless long days.  Some pumps are visited by the feet.  Office pumps are often lived in, such as these.

This is a pair of 7M Classiques.  Despite the French-sounding name, the logo tag on the insole proudly states these are a product of Italy.  As is the case with other pumps in my collection, the height of the heel isn't really low or high, but for the sake of simplifying things I'll list these as high heels.  Some of these photos were taken with the flash on my camera turned on and that gives them a white-ish appearance but they're actually bone.  I'm sure that made them go well with pretty much everything in the wearer's closet.

The leather uppers (yes, this time I know it's real leather because everything is leather, even the outsoles) are very wrinkled and misshapen, particularly around the areas where the shoes flex.  I'm willing to bet a lot of those wear-related defects disappear when there are two feet inside of them, and I'm thinking these will be one of those pairs I make sure get on my friend's feet for a photo session in the not-too-distant future.

A closer inspection of the leather upper reveals a mess of little cracks, which is usually a sign of aging.  I have no idea how old these shoes are but I wouldn't be shocked if they've been around fifteen or twenty years.  They don't look like anything that's been sold since at least the start of the new millennium, although a reader of this blog much more in tune with fashion trends would be better equipped to prove me right or wrong.

The pumps stink... which, of course, is a wonderful thing.  They're a few feet from me as I type this and their delicious aroma is making their presence known.  In fact, they smell a lot like the shoes I used to buy from the thrift store, so I'm wondering if the seller duped me into thinking these were her pumps, or if that smell is common to older shoes.  I guess it doesn't matter because with this kind of trashing and abuse, I'm happy to have them in my collection.  Here you can see the color having been rubbed off the lining in some spots as well as a great amount of wear having been inflicted on the insole, which is beginning to work its way loose.

It's fun to think about what a pair of shoes goes through over the course of time, starting out life being stored in a box so as not to risk them getting damaged to ending up as a disposable item.  At what point does the wearer go from avoiding puddles to walking right through them?  Gently removing them from her feet at the end of the day to kicking them off into a corner upon walking in the door?

The wearer of these pumps kept them on from the moment she left in the morning until the time she got home.  The back of the right shoe is seriously scuffed, meaning it came in contact with the floor mat in the car as she drove to and from the office.  This area on the back of the left shoe is perfectly intact.

I love the way leather outsoles wear over time.  The material seems to fray a bit, making it a little soft and fuzzy.  Leather outsoles also seem to stain very easily, leading them to appear a lot more worn than they actually are.  These are just starting to feel a little thin in the areas under the balls of the feet, but are still in great shape.

The top pieces are worn very evenly, indicating the wearer of these shoes knew how to walk in them.

Only upon looking at them from the sides is it obvious how long these shoes had been in someone's service, as the top pieces likely started out about twice as thick as they are now.  Regardless, these pumps were worn hard as one of someone's "go to"pairs but held up well in the face of everything thrown at them.  I'll be on the lookout for more just like these.

Two Good YouTube Finds

Don't worry, this blog isn't going to turn into a place where I regurgitate stuff I find elsewhere on the internet, but every once in a while my interest in this hobby leads me to some stuff I feel the need to share.

First up is a short video of some tall platform heels.  It's so short, you could very well miss it if you blink.  I'll admit to not being the biggest fan of platforms (the ridiculously thick outsoles don't do anything for me) but the pair featured in this clip is definitely one I'd love to have in my collection.  The shoes look as though they were subjected to some intentional abuse and in this case I'm okay with that because of the way the heels are bending all over the place.  Mesmerizing!

Second is a video only a little longer than the first (so again, don't blink) but equally fascinating.  This guy's girlfriend's worn slingbacks have the most downright impressive sweat stains I've ever seen on a pair of shoes.  From the looks of things, her feet create a pool of sweat on a daily basis.  I can only dream of what it would be like to shove my nose inside the pumps for a sniff or two.

Stay tuned this weekend for some more posts.  There's so much in my collection I haven't shared... yet.

Connie Celebrates No More: Part One

 

It's been a generally unsatisfying week as far as this hobby goes, as I've barely had any alone time to enjoy my collection.  It was also a slow week when it comes to additions to my collection, highlighted only by the arrival of two pairs of pumps.  One pair was purchased because the trashing and abuse I could see in the photos led me to believe it would make a fine addition to my collection and the other was purchased because it looked as though it would make for a nice target for destruction.  Note to sellers: combining shipping costs for multiple purchases leads to, um, more purchases.

The high-heeled pumps pictured here are the ones purchased so I could end their shiny little lives.  They are made by Connie and are apparently part of the company's "Celebrates"line of shoes.  I'm not sure where that causes them to fall in the Connie universe, all I know is that it's quite cumbersome as it rolls off the tongue.  Wouldn't Connie Celebrations make more sense than Connie Celebrates?  Celebrates what?  The destruction of her shoes?  Okay, I'm down with that.

Once again, I enlisted the help of my Pleaser Mary Janes.  Of all the shoes in my collection that were purchased for the enjoyment of my feet, they're the ones with the sturdiest heels.  Maybe one day I'll get destructive with the shoes with the higher heels but right now I'm sticking with what I'm most confident wearing.  Size 8 Connies, meet size 16 Pleasers.  Poor adorable things.

When I destroyed my Moda sandals, my favorite moment was when I put all of my weight on the heels of my shoes and used them to collapse the shanks of their victims.  Since then, I've purchased a few pairs of shoes with lower heels, hoping to be able to recreate that moment.  The Connies taught me that I have to keep things modest.  In this photo it appears that the heel of my Pleaser is going to bend the silver pump in half but I discovered that there is no way to stabilize a pump so that it remains upright under the weight of a heel.  After this photo was taken, the little Connie fell to either side as the heel dragged along the foam-padded insole but failed to cause any structural damage.  From now on I need shoes with low, blocky heels because at least they remain stable and upright as I stand on them.

Since the insole was already working its way loose long before I bought the pumps, I tried peeling it back so that the top piece of my Pleaser's heel wouldn't be subjected to such a slippery surface.  The end result was ultimately the same since the sharp curvature of the shank was too much and the heel still slid down, unable to remain in one spot long enough to break the shoe.  Frustrated by my lack of destructive success, I threw the Connie down on the cold, hard garage floor and stomped, kicked and dragged the life out of it.

Did I go too far?  I'm thinking it's a possibility as I'm starting to get concerned about the long-term health and well-being of my Pleasers.  The heels absorbed a massive amount of abuse with serious damage to the top pieces and even the leather covering them.  As I walked back in the house, my Mary Janes felt a little wobbly and sloppy.  An inspection revealed the heels still very tightly attached, so is it my imagination or are is the abuse only evident when my 300 pound body is walking in them?  Time will tell.

As for the Connies... well, I concentrated all of my anger on the right shoe.  The left one is completely intact right now and surely happy it's not looking like this one.  The stomping by the Pleasers resulted in the bending of the metal strip that forms the shape of the shank, which in turn has the heel bent under the shoe.

Part of the reason one of my Pleaser's top pieces is in such dismal shape is because I dragged the Connie along the course concrete floor of the garage.  This created deep scratches on the rubber outsole as well as a hole in the upper.

The stress inflicted on the shoe during the dragging session caused the upper to tear away from the outsole.  Whatever was left of the already-worn top piece shattered into many pieces, exposing the metal nail in the center of the heel that proved to be the only part of the shoe to survive the rampage completely intact.  The flash I used for this photo blacked out the background, allowing a good look at the part of the pump that suffered the most damage.

With the insole peeled back, the shoe's new holes can be seen along with the cracking of the shank near the base of the heel.  This particular pair of pumps doesn't appear to have been all that expensive, although I suppose all pumps are made this way?  (I'll have to tear apart a few more to be certain.)  The shank is made of an extremely rigid compressed paper-like material, which I assume is sufficient because of the metal strip between it and the outsole, and the heel is attached with a couple of nails.

One down, one to go.  It won't be long before I take on the self-imposed challenge of making the left shoe look worse than the right.  To be continued...

Looking Down

Most women are used to a guy's eyes gravitating to points north on their body.  What would women think if they knew that my eyes are programmed to look down (in addition to north because, after all, I'm a normal guy once you get past this peculiar interest of mine)?

I can't help myself, as much as I've tried in the past to keep my interest in a woman's shoes from taking control.  Of course I make it a point to be as discreet as possible, but I'm not sure if I'm always successful.  I can only hope.  At least looking down has provided me with lots of visuals, lots of insight and lots of stories throughout the years.

It was when I worked part-time at a local grocery store that I really began paying attention to what women wore on their feet.  Over time I discovered there were some customers that I really enjoyed seeing walk up and down the aisles.  Three stand out in my mind- all middle-aged, and all with an affinity for Keds and Keds-style sneakers.  One (who, for some reason, stands out in my mind as having always been pregnant despite the fact that I only ever saw her with one of two kids) had feet that would cause the uppers to bulge severely on the sides of her feet- something that those kinds of sneakers didn't seem designed to prevent all that well.  Another had sneakers that always had holes on the sides, and regardless of the pair she was wearing they were always in the exact same spots.  If I was working on the sales floor, I'd always make it a point to start blocking a lower shelf in their vicinity so I could be closer to their feet as they walked by (yes, I never forgot my retail terminology, despite now having been out of the business for close to a decade.)

However, there was one woman that still stands out in my mind for a number of reasons.  First, she was the mother of a good friend of mine throughout my school years, all the way up to a few years following high school graduation.  Second, she was divorced but clearly had money, which made it amusing that she wore the most trashed, abused and plain disgusting Keds you can ever imagine being used as serious articles of clothing.  They weren't falling apart like those featured in one of my favorite YouTube videos (see below) but they were stretched out, scratched and faded beyond belief.  What possessed a mature woman with money to leave her house in such lousy sneakers when she likely had a closet full of more presentable options?  Third, she always seemed to bestow upon me an unreasonable amount of attention, often stopping me for half hour-long conversations that would have left my boss fuming had I not been such a good employee.  I can recall a talk about not knowing how to cook leading to her begging me to come over to be taught how to prepare a meal, another about going for a ride in her new car and even one where she boasted about the virtues of younger men.  Had she not been the mother of my friend, I probably wouldn't have ignored her flirtatious overtures.

Speaking of trashed and abused Keds, check out this YouTube video.  It starts out with some nice footage of the wearer playing with her pumps in the snow but then heats up when she tosses a rotten old pair of the things to the ground and tramples the living hell out of them, even going as far as to shove the pumps she's wearing into the Keds.  The fact that the uppers are ripped and torn to the point of barely being able to hold themselves together makes the sneakers appear to shudder in either pain, fear or both.  There's no telling what I'd pay for a pair of Keds like that if they came my way.

My Collection: Ballet Flats of an Unknown Brand

Despite my silent grumbling about there being way too many pairs of ballet flats for sale on eBay, I've purchased quite a few.  The majority aren't very worn at all but every once in a while I come across a pair that's trashed and abused enough for my liking.  This pair walks the fine line between the two and something compelled me to bid.  Maybe it was the leopard print?

As far as ballet flats go, these are holding their shape quite well.  Most have quarters that are collapsing but these are completely intact, at least from a distance.  One major sign of wear is the fact that the insoles are missing, with the layer of cushioning that once resided below them pulling double duty.  Since the white foam is fairly dirty, it's obvious these shoes were worn without the insoles for a while, instead of having had them removed for the sake of making them look more worn.

 

 

There's nothing much to see on the outsoles.  They're fairly worn but nothing that renders the shoes unwearable.  Considering how the wear on the outsoles is in line with the wear exhibited elsewhere on the flats, it's likely these spent some time outdoors.

With the help of my camera's flash, it's easy to see toe prints inside the shoes.  I'm going to assume these were worn barefoot and in hot weather, which makes sense because I'm pretty sure I bought these from a seller in Florida.

The lining in the quarter of the right show is separating at the topline.  I'm not sure of why this isn't also happening on the left shoe, although it ties in nicely with my theory that right shoes generally take more abuse than their left counterparts.  Even if the wearer is left handed and that somehow indicates what foot takes on more of the body's weight, the right foot is the one that has to operate the accelerator and brake pedals, meaning the right shoe gets forced to do a lot more bending and flexing and moving around.

 



The most significant trashing and abuse on these flats can be seen on the backs of the uppers.  The material appears to be joined by another wide strip of the same stuff, and for some reason everything is coming apart.  I can't think of a reason why this is happening.  Even if the wearer crushed down the quarters to use the shoes as mules (which I'm almost sure she didn't, judging by the wear that's visible), it wouldn't cause this to happen.  Ideas?