Destroying the Moda Sandals

After an unusually stressful morning at work, I retreated to an empty house where I knew I had to unleash some fury upon something.  I put on my Ellie slingbacks to figure things out andthen it hit me.

A little back story... before I got the idea to purchase shoes that actually feet my gigantic feet, I tried to make do with the largest worn shoes I could find on eBay.  Every once in a while I'd come across some kind of sandal in a size 12 or 13 and if it had a bare minimum of straps or some straps that could be cut without ruining their ability to remain in place on my feet, I'd buy them and use them every so often for as long as I could withstand the circulation in my feet being compromised.  I found this pair of size 13M lime green strappy sandals by Moda and, despite them not being large enough for my feet, had high hopes that I could make them work.

You'll have to forgive me for not having photographed them as soon as they arrived, but when I found that the thin straps really hurt me feet, I figured I would end up getting rid of them.  They were very lightly used, with only the top pieces of the low, blocky heels showing the slightest bit of wear.  There was definitely no trashing and abuse to be enjoyed, so as I contemplated how to get rid of some of my aggression, I came to the conclusion that I'd give my Ellies a workout and see what they could do to the Moda sandals, since they had no future with me.

I stepped on them a few times but that didn't do much.  I figured I would only be satisfied if I was able to do something to ruin the integrity of the sandals so I centered the heel of my Ellie above the shank of the right shoe, stabilized myself by holding onto the wall and let all 300 pounds of my weight bear down on it.  The feeling of the shank slowly giving out was so amazing, I couldn't wait to do it to the other one, and now I'm seriously considering an eBay search for some more low-heeled sandals and heels so I can enjoy that sensation again.  It was an unexpected feeling of power.  At this point I got the idea to photograph the results of the trashing and abuse, so the first two photos are of the first round.

I needed a location better than my dining room floor to continue things so I took the sandals to the garage and went crazy, stomping the living hell out of the left sandal.  The adorable jewelry-like metal heart that connected the three spaghetti straps ended up shattering, rendering the poor thing useless.  The top pieces of my Ellies left their mark all over the shoes as I paid special attention to the area where I collapsed the shank.

The bending of the shank was so severe that the top piece went flying across the garage, sending me on a search to find it so my wife wouldn't come across it at some point.  I almost regretted the metal heart breaking because I would have loved to have slipped this on my foot one last time to see what it would be like to walk in the shoes with them in this condition.

The right sandal also took some harsh blows including a nasty one that speared through the metallic material of the insole, but at this point my feet were getting tired and as much as want to abuse my Ellie slingbacks over time, don't want to completely destroy them.  It was a good thing that a close inspection of them showed nothing more than top pieces looking a little worn from having murdered the Modas.  Something tells me my Ellies can take on anything, and perhaps they will in the future.

It's Like Christmas Morning!

Today I took delivery of the first of a few very, very, very large pairs of shoes I ordered on eBay.  Large, as in size 16- the largest I could order, and possibly the largest that are made without needing to special order?  This particular pair of cute black patent leather slingbacks was made by Ellie.

It's always been a fantasy of mine to wear a pair of heels without having to destroy my feet.  In the past, I was able to find a size 12 pair of Ralph Lauren high heeled sandals that I was barely able to squeeze onto my size 13/14 feet (and since there is a three size difference between men's and women's shoes, it was as if I was wearing a size 9.)  With those poor things, I had to cut a few of the leather straps, constantly soak them in hot water and hope I could get by for a few minutes without causing my feet permanent damage.  What would it be like to properly wear a pair of women's shoes?  How about a sexy pair of high heels?  In a way, it was disappointing not to be able to buy a pair of shoes that were already on their way to being trashed and abused, but seeing as how few, if any, women wear size 16s, was willing to make an exception and buy new.  Besides, if I were to find a used pair of size 16 shoes, I would probably be worried that they belonged to a drag queen.

As it turns out, the shoes are pretty comfortable.  The large, thick strap that holds the front of the foot in place is a little tight, especially as gravity causes all of my 300 pounds slide into them, but the smaller straps that go around the base of my ankle and the back of my heel are fine to the point where I don't even notice them.  For some reason squeezing my left foot through those straps is more difficult than it is with the right foot, requiring some moderate stretching of the thin, delicate-looking leather, giving me a newfound appreciation for women that wear this kind of shoe on a regular basis.  I was starting to get worried something would have to give, either the strap, where it connects to the shoe or the unsubstantial buckle.  And as much as I love the idea of destroyed women's shoes, I kinda don't want these to break.  At least not yet.

Now, what is to become of these shoes?  I have no idea.  I like the idea of having a few pairs of shoes that I can wear on a regular basis, but there's not much I can do with them aside from walking around the house when my wife's not home and wearing them as I enjoy the trashed and abused shoes in my collection.  It would be nice to be able to subject these to some challenging tasks, but my options would be limited to laps on the course concrete of the garage floor and maybe the back part of the driveway when it's dark and no one is looking.  Maybe general use will eventually inflict some damage.  I'm definitely not used to walking in heels and my feet tend to wobble.  Will that be enough to work loose one of the heels?  I suppose I'll have to try a few things, like holding onto something as I balance the weight of my body on the heels, no doubt putting an obscene amount of stress on those straps I was just worried about.

I'll keep you updated, on these as well as others that start arriving at my door in the coming days and weeks.